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Contributed by Guest Blogger of the week, Johnny Blaze Leavitt.
Let me ask you, my fellow producers, how many of you have had conversations like the following?
Johnny: Are you ready?
Jeff: Let’s do this.
Johnny: As the Executive Director, I need you to approve the postcard image. We’re way behind in getting them printed. Get it done, man!
Jeff: You’re right. Sorry. I’ll move that up. Now, as the Production Director, I need to scold you! You still don’t know your lines for Act One. We’re well past the point of calling for line and yet you’re still floundering. Bad actor! Shame on you!
Johnny: I can explain. That’s the scene where the Queen makes her grand entrance. As the show’s Costume Designer, I’ve been distracted by Melanie’s blocking. The period garb she’ll be in won’t allow her to move about as easily as she’s moving now. I’m brainstorming rehearsal costume ideas to help prepare her.
Jeff: Understandable. Give a note to the Stage Manager.
Johnny: You mean Melanie?
Jeff: Yes.
Johnny: Now, I need to speak to the Sound Designer.
Jeff: Ok, I’m ready. Shoot.
Johnny: The gun shot after intermission sounds pretty terrible. Can’t you find a better sound file?
Jeff: It’s not the file, it’s the sound system. Weren’t we supposed to have our own by now?
Johnny: That was dependent on funding. Let me put on my Chief Grant Writer’s hat on and say we still don’t have it in the budget yet as we have not heard back about our latest grant application.
Jeff: Then can we just fire blanks?
Johnny: Check with the Props Master.
Jeff: That’s me. I just approved myself.
Johnny: Well done.
Jeff: Anything else?
Johnny: The show still needs a better ending.
Jeff: Talk to the playwright.
Johnny: That would be me. I’m still waiting on feedback from the Artistic Director.
Jeff: Oh. Right. I’ll get right on that.
Johnny: Anything else?
Jeff: Summation?
Johnny: I’m mad at you for four items and owe you two apologies. You’re mad at me for two items and owe me three apologies.
Jeff: Crap. You won. Want to go get a taco?
Johnny: Can’t. Too much work to do.
Johnny: Are you ready?
Jeff: Let’s do this.
Johnny: As the Executive Director, I need you to approve the postcard image. We’re way behind in getting them printed. Get it done, man!
Jeff: You’re right. Sorry. I’ll move that up. Now, as the Production Director, I need to scold you! You still don’t know your lines for Act One. We’re well past the point of calling for line and yet you’re still floundering. Bad actor! Shame on you!
Johnny: I can explain. That’s the scene where the Queen makes her grand entrance. As the show’s Costume Designer, I’ve been distracted by Melanie’s blocking. The period garb she’ll be in won’t allow her to move about as easily as she’s moving now. I’m brainstorming rehearsal costume ideas to help prepare her.
Jeff: Understandable. Give a note to the Stage Manager.
Johnny: You mean Melanie?
Jeff: Yes.
Johnny: Now, I need to speak to the Sound Designer.
Jeff: Ok, I’m ready. Shoot.
Johnny: The gun shot after intermission sounds pretty terrible. Can’t you find a better sound file?
Jeff: It’s not the file, it’s the sound system. Weren’t we supposed to have our own by now?
Johnny: That was dependent on funding. Let me put on my Chief Grant Writer’s hat on and say we still don’t have it in the budget yet as we have not heard back about our latest grant application.
Jeff: Then can we just fire blanks?
Johnny: Check with the Props Master.
Jeff: That’s me. I just approved myself.
Johnny: Well done.
Jeff: Anything else?
Johnny: The show still needs a better ending.
Jeff: Talk to the playwright.
Johnny: That would be me. I’m still waiting on feedback from the Artistic Director.
Jeff: Oh. Right. I’ll get right on that.
Johnny: Anything else?
Jeff: Summation?
Johnny: I’m mad at you for four items and owe you two apologies. You’re mad at me for two items and owe me three apologies.
Jeff: Crap. You won. Want to go get a taco?
Johnny: Can’t. Too much work to do.
This is hilarious (and too true)... it's amazing we can get everything done and produce good work, to boot!
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