Contributed by Guest Blogger of the week, Tim Errickson.
These are honest to goodness real questions from absolutely fake readers…
Q: Tim, love the blog posts this week! What do you think about ART/NY winning a Tony Award?
-Michele from Boston, MA
A: Great question to lead off the mailbag Michele! I think that ART/NY is a terrifically deserving organization, and any support and recognition they get is fantastic. I did wonder, however, how much they support BROADWAY theatre, which is what the Tony Awards cover. ART/NY membership criteria start with being a non-profit or seeking to be a non-profit, so most Commercial/Tourist theatre shows don’t qualify. Maybe a more accurate accolade (2nd only to their Stewardship Award from the IT Awards a few years back) would be an OBIE or The Mayor’s Awards for Arts and Culture. But ART/NY will get major pub for this, and Ginny Louloudes and her staff are bouncing back nicely from both major personnel changes and the shitastic economy. Hope we get to see Ginny on TV accepting the award shortly.
Q: Tim, what are you working on lately, besides blog posts?
-Kyle from Durham, NC
A: Right now, Kyle, my nights have been filled with rehearsals for The Desk Set with Retro Productions. It’s been going really well, and you should totally check it out when you finish celebrating Duke’s National Championship. The show has laughs, heart, a gorgeous cast, fun music, and a dance party in the middle. I shit you not. You can get tickets here.
Q: Hey man, what upcoming shows are you really excited to see?
-Jessica from Hell’s Kitchen, NYC
A: Well, I’m finally seeing God of Carnage in a few weeks, so I’m psyched about that (my love for Janet McTeer is strong and true, people). Other exciting nights in the theatre coming up include Jacob's House for Flux, The Little One with Nosedive Productions, and Song For A Future Generation by The Management Company. Rehearsal for The Desk Set (have you bought your tickets yet? C’mon!) will keep me from seeing Crystal Skillman’s The Vigil something that Impetuous Theatre Group is doing at the Brick, so I’m actually bummed about that. Ah well, next time.
Q: Dude! Ok, so…imaginary dinner party. Like that old Jon Favreau show Dinner for 5. Who you inviting?
-Victor from San Antonio, TX
A: Well Victor, I’ll tell ya…that’s a tough one. My gut instinct Chekhov (the writer, not the driver of the Enterprise, nerds), Joe Papp, Ethan Hawke, and Salma Hayek, with Sam Shepard on speed dial in case anyone gets a flat tire coming over. Keep the vodka flowing so that Anton doesn’t get too maudlin (“No more ‘we will work’ shit, Anton…tell us The Bear again”). Salma and Ethan are hitting it off and getting cozy, so I break those two up by asking Salma about a “Frida” sequel, which brings out her fiery temper. She curses me in Spanish, while Ethan smokes and asks Joe if he will finance ‘Before Moonlight’, this new thing he’s working on with Julie Delpy and Rich Linklater about two vampires who get stuck on a train to Vienna…Joe gets pissed at Ethan, who won’t stop talking business. So Joe decides to give Ethan the big fuck you by asking how Uma’s doing…Ethan downs three shots of jack, drops his phone number on Salma, and storms out. Salma, still cursing me in Spanish and thinking that calling Ethan is too much like dating Ed Norton again, gives me the finger and heads out. Joe is now sick of Anton drunkenly trying to remember the plot of The Proposal, which in his slurred speech is beginning to sound a lot like the plot from ‘Runaway Bride’ (note to self, next time invite Garry Marshall). Joe steals the last drops of vodka from Anton, and heads for the door, just as Anton passed out in mid anti-theatrical rant (“We need new forrmmsssss….zzzz”) as the check arrives. Fuck. Maybe next time, don’t go with the gut instinct. And invite Garry Marshall.
Q: Look, you seem to know a lot of stuff…what can we do about all these theatres disappearing? Pretty soon, we’ll have to do shows in parks in the afterno…whoops.
-Steven from Richland, NJ
A: Watch it there, fucker. But you are right; theatres are still disappearing at an alarming rate. David Pincus of The Workshop Theatre, along with ART/NY, the League of Independent Theatre and the IT Awards are working hard with elected officials to pass the tax incentive plan for landlords to rent to arts organizations, and let’s hope that has the desired effect. In the meantime, the community needs to seek out landlord of unused commercial real estate, churches, community centers, anywhere we can and start trying to bring back some of the spaces we lost. And EVERYBODY should get to The Community Forum on the Ohio Theatre on Monday for this.
Q: Tim, I think you are super cute. I am an actress, and I know you have auditions coming up for Boomerang’s season. What audition pieces should I avoid when going into an EPA?
-Jean-Marie from Rehoboth Beach, DE
A: J-M, no more Nina’s from The Seagull, no more Julia’s from Two Gents. Ever.
Q: Random question dude…what classic TV theme song best reps the OOB scene? My buddy in his more lucid moments thinks it’s The Facts of Life Theme (“You take the good, you take the bad…”), but I think he’s smoking crack. I can’t have Mrs. Garrett and Tootie as my personal theme song. Need your help, pal.
-Malcolm from Ghent, NY
A: I love me some Jo, and I’ll make Blair into a very bad girl…but The Facts of Life Theme doesn’t hold a candle to The Laverne and Shirley theme (aka We’re Going to Make our Dreams Come True)…Lyrics like “straight ahead and on the track now… there’s nothing we won’t try, never heard the word impossible”...it’s the equivalent of “Man in Motion” from ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’. Don’t believe me, look it up.
Q: On a scale of 1 to Christina Hendricks nude scene, how would you project the progress of the Indie Theatre scene in the next 5 years?
-CJ from Austin, TX
A: I feel optimistic about things, actually CJ. I’m looking forward to the new space that ART/NY will open in the 50s on the Westside, and the new ticketing/social media application that they’re developing with Theatermania.com (Somebody give ART/NY a Tony Award already!); I think the League of Independent Theatre will more fully establish themselves and work some of the kinks out; I think you will begin to see more recognition of productions in OOB, including OBIE, Drama Desk, and GLAAD nominations; I think you will see more prolific publishing of Indie Theatre scripts as a way of both preserving the work and distributing it for other productions; and I think you will see a major book published chronicling the experience, struggle and joy of working in Indie Theatre. So on a scale of 1 to Christina Hendricks nude scene, I would rate that a solid 8.
Alright, time for one last letter…
Q: Dear Tim, I am a Nigerian business man who needs to send $5m dollars to the US and can pay you a percentage…
Thanks for a fun week everybody, and for the IT Awards for asking me to do this! See you around.